Below is a beautiful excerpt of one of the songs to Shiva from the book Hymns to Shiva, Utpaladeva’s Shivastotravali, in which Swami Lakshmanjoo instills the importance of love and devotion on the spiritual path.
Chapter 9 (06:06)
गाढानुरागवशतो निरपेक्षीभूतमानसोऽस्मि कदा ।
पटपटिति विघटिताखिलमहार्गलस्त्वामुपैष्याम ॥३॥
gāḍhānurāgavaśato nirapekṣībhūtamānaso’smi kadā /
paṭapaṭiti vighaṭitākhilamahārgalastvāmupaiṣyāmi //3//
When that day will come to me?
This stotra is always “when”, questioning when, when that day will come.
Gāḍha anurāgavaśataḥ nirapekṣībhūta mānasaḥ kadā asmi. When that day will come when, by the intensity of Your love, gāḍha anurāga-vaśataḥ, by the intensity of, denseness of, Your love . . .*
SCHOLAR: “Your love” means love for You.
SWAMIJI: Yes. Because I love You. You don’t love me. You don’t love me. I love You.
ṣṛṇu deva prārthaneyaṁ nātha tavāhaṁ namāma kena / 2
sāmudro hi taraṅgāḥ kvacana samudro na tāraṅgaḥ // 3
O Lord, just hear one word from me: śṛṇu deva prārthaneyaṁ nātha tavāham, I am Yours, na māmakena aham, You are not mine. I am Yours. You are not mine.
How?
Sāmudro hi taraṅgāḥ, the tide is of the ocean. The tide belongs to the ocean. The ocean does not belong to the tide.
This is what he says.
*. . . gāḍha anurāgavaśataḥ nirapekṣībhūta mānasaḥ, when that day will come when gāḍha anurāgavaśataḥ, by the intensity of Your love, attachment, nirapekṣībhūtamānasaḥ, my mind will vacate all other thoughts away? My mind will exclude all other thoughts by the intensity of Your love.
And paṭa paṭiti vighaṭita mahārgalaḥ, and I will become paṭa-paṭiti vighaṭita mahārgalaḥ, I will become such a being that, when in my presence, that big door, which is locked already between You and me, between Your residence and my self (I am outside and You are inside and there is a door) . . .
SCHOLAR: There is a bar across the door. Argalā. Is this a bar across?
SWAMIJI: Yes.
SCHOLAR: Horizontal bar.
SWAMIJI: Bolt, big bolt!
SCHOLAR: Yes, yes.
SWAMIJI: . . . and by the main presence of mine there, because I would be with that qualification . . .
With what qualification?
With the intensity of Thy devotion and by the exclusion of all other anxieties, all other attachments, all other thoughts. I will remain like that.
. . . and by that qualification, what would happen? This argala, this bolted, barred door, will break into pieces, tvāmupaiṣyāmi, and I will embrace You inside. When that day will come?
SCHOLAR: He will break it? He will do the breaking?
SWAMIJI: No, it will break by itself because of [Utpaladeva’s] presence.
SCHOLAR: Vighaṭitākhilamahārgala is bahuvrīhi.4
SWAMIJI: Yes.
Because, mahārgalaḥ ahaṁ, by my presence, this [locked door] will break into pieces and tvāmupaiṣyāmi, You will be seated in my lap.
SCHOLAR: So, “paṭa paṭiti” is the sound of it breaking.
SWAMIJI: Sound, sound of breakage.
_______________
2 Unknown source.
3 From Śaṅkara’s Ṣaṭpadī Stotra. This stotra begins with the following line: satyapi bhedāpaga me nātha tavāham na māmakī na stvaṁ.
4 Literally meaning “much rice”, a bahuvrīhi compound signifies a referent by the specification of a particular quality. [Editor’s note]
Source: Hymns to Shiva, Utpaladeva’s Shivastotravali, revealed by Swami Lakshmanjoo
