One of the Kashmir Shaiva texts we studied at the recent retreat in Culver City was the Hymns to Shiva, Utpaladeva's Shivastotravali, which is a devotional song by Utpaladeva. Here we find him pleading, in the role of a devotee, to the divine Lord Shiva for everything... and he starts by saying, "Nothing is in the hands of the devotee... " So the devotee keeps asking, "When that day will come."
“Attachment for God creates that rasa, the rasa of the love of God consciousness, love of God.” ~Swami Lakshmanjoo
The Victory of Absolute Freedom
Svātantrya vijayākhyaṁ navamaṁ stotram
SWAMIJI: This is “svātantrya vijayākhyaṁ”: nothing is in his hands. Nothing is in the hands of the devotee but he wants to possess everything, all power–the devotee.
Chapter 9 (00:15)
कदा नवरसार्द्रार्द्रसम्भोगास्वादनोत्सुकम् ।
प्रवर्तेत विहायान्यन् मम त्वत्स्पर्शने मनः ॥१॥
kadā navarasārdrārdra sambhogāsvādanotsukam
pravarteta vihāyānyan mama tvatsparśane manaḥ //1//
O Lord, when that time will come before me when navasārdrārdra sambhoga āsvādana utsukam, when mama manaḥ (my mind), which is navarasārdrārdra sambhoga āsvādana utsu-kam . . . it is already like that. My mind is already like that. [My mind] is fond of navarasa ārdrārdra sambhoga, just to enjoy the taste of the always new taste of the nectar of the Lord’s devotion. [My mind] has got fondness of tasting the nectar of the nearness of God consciousness.
SWAMIJI: He is already . . . it is [the mind’s] qualification.
My mind’s qualification is this. [My mind] is fond of taking that rasa, navarasa, which is always new (navarasa), and ārdra ārdra bhāva, and which is always wet, which is not dry; where there is no dryness in that rasa. He wants to . . . [my mind] is fond to taste that rasa where there is no dryness in that rasa and where that rasa is always fresh, it remains always fresh.
That is the rasa of the love of God consciousness, love of God, attachment for God. Attachment for God creates that rasa, that fresh rasa.
ALEXIS: So, utsukam means “yearning”, more truly.
SWAMIJI: Yes, he is fond of.
ALEXIS: Fond, not in the sense that he is familiar with it, but like a lover who is separated, he yearns, has autsukyam, yearning for that taste.
SWAMIJI: Yes, yearning.
And this is the position of my mind. But he does not get that joy, never. Svātantryam vijayākhyam, he wants that svātantrya. He wants to own that svātantrya1.
Pravarteta vihāyānyan mama tvat sparśane. And that rasa will only come when I touch Your body; tvat sparśane, when I touch Your body, when I touch Your spiritual body. When my mind will touch Your body? Because, my mind is fond of yearning for that attaining and tasting the rasa of Your devotion. And that devotion will come only by Your touch. I want to embrace You and that embrace will give me that joy of that rasa, tasting that rasa.
When that time will come? I want to ask You, when that day will come for me, when that day will appear, when I will leave all other things, all of the other activities of the world, and be focused only to that point, i.e., just to embrace You and taste the nectar of that nearness of that devotion, love? When that day will come for me? Tell me.
Chapter 9 (04:05)
कदा साक्षात्करिष्यामि भवन्तमयमुत्सुकः ॥२॥
kadā sākṣātkariṣyāmi bhavantamayamutsukaḥ //2//
Tvadekaraktaḥ. I am utsukaḥ, I am utsukaḥ. This, myself, I am utsukaḥ. “I am” means I am (aham) utsukaḥ, who is utsukaḥ, who is fond of, or who is yearning.
What is the position of myself?
Tvad eka raktaḥ, I am always attached to You. I am always attached to You (tvad eka raktaḥ). Tvad pāda pūjā mātra mahādhanaḥ, and I only possess the wealth of adoring You. I have no other wealth, no other bank balance. I have only the wealth just to adore You. This is my wealth! This is the qualification of me. I have only one wealth and that is Your adoration. I want to adore You. That is my wealth. That is what I want to possess. And tvad eka raktaḥ, and attachment I have not for other things except Thee (tvad eka raktaḥ). I am attached to You, to Thee, and I have only this wealth.
JOHN: Of Your devotion.
SWAMIJI: Of Your devotion, of adoring You.
Kadā sākṣāt kariṣyāmi bhavantam. So, when shall I see You? When that day will come to me when I shall see You, I shall perceive You, I shall own You? Tell me that day.
1 See appendix 11 for an explanation of svātantrya.